Is there a fly in your soup or does your soup have a fly in it? Is there a tiger in the jungle or does a jungle have a tiger in it?
As I have said before, these questions might seem of minor importance but they can have real implications — as I discussed in this old post.
In this same spirit, I'd like to provide another example. Last night, I noticed that a spoon hadn't been properly rinsed and, after being washed and placed back in the drawer, it still had a tiny chunk of crusty food attached to it. In a dissatisfied tone, I pointed this out to my wife. She retorted that I had failed to notice that she had also just cleaned the entire kitchen.
In other words, I noticed a dirty spoon in an otherwise spotless kitchen whereas, from her perspective, the spotless kitchen had a dirty spoon.
The difference is significant. In my case, I focused on the small item first and ignored the bigger picture. My wife, on the other hand, was more focused on the big picture and had placed the small item (i.e. the spoon) in its more proper context.
I'm not implying that the ability to spot the difference is the key to a strong and healthy marriage but it can't hurt.
P.S. For the record, I am a thoroughly modern man and do my fair share of cleaning around the house.