Unlearning Danger

As a parent, the tragic case of Jaycee Lee Dugard — the young woman who was kidnapped at the age of 11 and held captive for 19 years — is near the top of my list of "nightmare scenarios." I suspect millions of other parents feel the same way. As a result, we go to extraordinary measures to protect our children from harm's way.

Among the more common steps I have personally taken is walking my children out to their bus stop. (Conveniently, the bus stop is directly in front of my house.) Nevertheless, this action is not only unnecessary, it is counter-productive because I'm not doing anything to help my children foster a sense of independence.

I say the action is not needed because, as a result of cases such as Dugard's, we tend to see kidnappings as being far more frequent than they actually are. According to this recent article about 115 children are kidnapped by strangers every year. (This compares to 250,000 kids injured in auto accidents.) Nevertheless, millions of us well-intentioned parents will not allow our kids to walk to school or walk home from the bus stop because it is "better to be safe than sorry."

But is it really better? Think of the millions of kids who are not getting any exercise because their parents don't allow them to walk even one city block. (Can anyone say "childhood diabetes"?) Think about the millions of gallons of gasoline parents are burning as they drive to pick up their children and what that is doing to the environment — not to mention their pocketbook. More important, think about the lessons of fear and danger we are instilling in our children. 

All of our actions are counter-productive. First, we must unlearn the idea that danger lurks everywhere because it doesn't! Second, we must unlearn the idea that we are somehow protecting our children. We are not! The best way to protect our children, as the above quote states, is not to "child-proof the world" but rather "world-proof the child." And we can only do that by fostering and encouraging their independence.

So go ahead … let your child walk to school or home from the bus stop.